is as any fule kno an adaptation of the title of the French translation of the first book in the Stieg Larsson trilogy, filmed as "Millennium" (its title in the original Swedish) and for some reason called in English translation "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". But I am not talking about the books (have read the first two and the third is going to be brought round by that nice Mr. Amazon any day now, and have seen the first film, did wonders for my French having to concentrate hard on the subtitles as I do not speak Swedish). No. I am talking about that Geordie bloke who used to lie for a living when he was in politics and now does it just for fun. Howarth, that's the chap, can't write or spell, remember "Your Better Off With Labour"? This morning I was putting off starting the day's work so I read the stuff he wrote about himself on his "blog" (which in the best tradition of the Reading Labour boys is not interactive, broadcast not receive, tell the people what they ought to think, that's the way). There are five posts, all purporting to tell the tale of his life, and each accompanied by a photograph of himself at the relevant stage in his life. It's too early in the day to inflict those on you, but I did notice that two of the posts included gratuitous pieces of old-fashioned misogyny. A mention of dungarees provoked the phrase "shrill man-hating feminists" and a mention of the male menopause (don't ask) brought on "bitter and twisted fifty-something females". Dear oh dear. This won't do, John. You don't get girls that way. You really don't. Your ex-wife Jane is I think fifty or so, the partner you left her for is apparently called Jane too, I do not know how old she is or whether either of them is bitter and twisted, though your ex-wife used to throw plates at your head when she was pissed off with you, I was told.
I am fifty-something and my name is Jane too.
I thank you.