because I would quite like to write about some other things as well as get on with my day job, I'll get this done now. Tony Jones informs us that the Labour candidate for Redlands ward in Reading is Jan Gavin, which is more than Reading Labour Party has done. The selection has been done quite early; I imagine the boys think it is a marginal and, because the LibDems appear to have gone to sleep, as others have pointed out, Labour can have it back. Well, we'll see. Labour lost Redlands before the main carnage mostly wiped out Reading Labour's tainted brand, largely because of the electoral fraud committed there in 2004 and identified by the police in 2005. This is what the then chair of Reading Labour Party, Stuart Singleton-White, the fraudster's friend, said was fine, because the fraud was too small to have affected the result. I asked at the time - how does he know? Unless he knows because - well, draw your own conclusions. One of the councillors wiped out in the Great Electoral Rout was Peter Kayes, the self-hating Jew. Kayes went so far as to say (to me) that the police were wrong in identifying that fraud had been committed. Not even the fraudster's friend went that far. But we have not heard from Mr Kayes since. No, they have put in a trusty. Whatever else Jan Gavin is, and whether she is a serious or a paper candidate, she is a trusty for the boys. She is a former (I presume) deputy head of Highdown School, and is married to Mr Salter's drug dealer Chris Gavin. Last time I looked she lived in west Reading, far enough west to be in the Reading West constituency. Tony Jones of course lives in Redlands ward and would have been at the selection meeting. The fraudster's friend lives in Redlands too. Perhaps Tony Jones was even a candidate himself, though I suspect he has rejoined the Labour Party too recently to be eligible. Picture the scene: comfy living room in biggish house in a leafy Redlands street, piles of the Guardian on the coffee table; the Redlands Labour faithful gather to drink milky coffee and choose their candidate for the local elections. There is the distant whir of a tumble dryer from the utility room. A lot of the furnishings are beige and nubbly.
Party members: "So, Jan Gavin, why do you want to be our candidate?"
Jan Gavin: "Because Martin Salter told me to."
Fraudster's friend: "Good enough for us, I think. All agreed?"
Tony Jones: "Not so fast, comrades. I don't wish to undermine Jan at this stage, but I want her to answer this: although the LibDems aren't very visible round here at present, they might start doing stuff again. How would she combat that?"
Jan Gavin: "No need. They're finished. Most of the Redlands Labour Party members vote LibDem as you know, except Stuart of course who's a Tory, has been ever since he fought in the Falklands, and even with everyone in this room voting LibDem, as most of you will, Redlands is likely to go Tory next time."
Party members: "Eh?"
Jan Gavin is selected by acclaim and the meeting closes with Gipsy Creams and a prayer for the Taleban.
Jan Gavin is 59.
To be continued.