Thursday, 24 September 2009

Claire's off


Claire Ward that is, junior justice minister, former government whip, Labour MP for Watford, towel-slapper and veteran of Kosovo military goings-on, has been roundly castigated, by a former Bishop no less, for rudeness and unbecoming behaviour, as you can read here. Claire, Claire, where did it all go wrong?
Incidentally, if you google for a picture of her, as I have just done, you get a pop-up "How to Get A Flat Belly".
My work here is done.
Or is it?...

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Towel-slapper? Nothing to do with a Captain Hunk (Andy) in the Marines she got up to 'high jinks' with in Kosovo.

Anonymous said...

Given that her seat's under thunderous pressure from the Lib Dems, so much that the previous Tory candidate was convinced of a campaign of harassment against the LD candidate, think this one can be buttoned down as a Lib Dem gain.

Bunkum said...

One Two Three - its as easy as ABC

Anyone But Claire

Anonymous said...

No, sorry, I've tried, but I don't understand this one. What is a towel-slapper? And what high jinks in Kosovo? I have tried googling, but to no effect.

Also, I was a bit concerned to find that the linkl led to the Guardian. Some of us are looking at this in the office, you know.

Anonymous said...

Google a bit harder, my friend.

Try 'Woman on Top'.
Think 'News of the World'.

Incidentally, should not comment moderation be employed with regard to Claire's 'seat' 'being under thunderous pressure'?

Too much information.

Pollster said...

Has Claire Ward been involved with Martin Salter in an alleged affair or fling?

I seem to remember them being linked together in a tabloid about political sex scandals.

jane said...

Salter and Ward sent me a joint letter via their libel lawyer, Geoffrey Bindman and Partners, telling me to shut up or else. I did not. The NOTW had it right with its Woman On Top story.

Anonymous said...

Can't seem to find the Screws story - could they have had it removed?
Does Woman on Top refer to Claire Ward and Martin Salter being caught in bed together - hence 'woman on top'? And was this at an official Labour or Government function? Was it only in the News of The World?

Id it since Claire Ward became a Minister?

David said...

I couldn't find it either.

St Martin S, Reading said...

FYI Anonymous 12:04, I'm a top, not a bottom sort of man.

Poor old Claire will be mortified at being publicly described as a 'slapper' even if Jane has prefixed with the word 'towel'.

Bare-back Rider said...

The wee lassie's a dark horse...

Anonymous said...

Is she a biker like Hazel?

Ornithologist said...

A bit of a 'bum job' - as Claire would say.

Anonymous said...

Don't be so jolly mean you beastly old fruits.

There's nothing like a chap in uniform to warm a girl's cockles - or toast her toes - or - fill in as appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Who, precisely, has been doing the 'filling in'?


I think we should be told.

The Mason's Arms said...

Princess Press-Up

Jolly Hosteller said...

Wonder who bunked up with Claire in Brighton?

Peeper said...

And who was the Woman on Top this time?!!!

Anonymous said...

How great thou art etc - to force a paper like The Screws to delete its colourful scandal item re Ward - and all internet outlets also.

Claire, Claire - how far is your reach and how did you aquire such power?