We are informed that the Reading constituencies are about to choose their Labour candidates. It's been in the Reading Chronicle, so it must be true. There is a big picture of someone called Richard Garvie, who uses a dangler in his statement ("As a party, Reading East is important to us" - no, Reading East is not a party, dumbo, who edits your stuff, John Howarth?), and who is described as a "community campaigner", which is political-speak for "can't get elected", and the headline is barely literate, but hey, that's the Chronicle for you, n'est-ce pas, editor Sally Stevens, never were much cop, were you? Nice long sentence, don't you think?
Where was I? Ah yes, the Reading constituencies. We already know that the Reading West constituency will be girls only, and that the Reading boys have been lining up one Rachel Eden, who has demonstrated that she will shut up and do as she is told, the only criteria for candidature. Someone from Buckinghamshire called Victoria Groulef is also mentioned. More to follow on her
Reading East will not be girls only, so naturally it is to be a white-boys-only shortlist, we are told. There is one white boy who is not Richard Garvie, Matt Rodda or Richard Davies, all three of whom are mentioned by the Chronicle Arsewipe, whose name has not yet featured, but who has been shamelessly touting for the candidature for a long time now. I'll leave you to guess who that is. Sometimes the party members in Reading East can surprise you. Sometimes they choose a surprising candidate.
Only one person has ever won Reading East for Labour.