"You talk a load of crap, carrot top" (Anonymous)
"consistently good and sometimes bonkers!" (Tony Jones)
"You obviously pi$$ people off a lot"
"One Dangerous Lady" (Anonymous)
"Clearly a very unpleasant person" (Grace Nicholas, Cornwall)
Saturday, 9 October 2010
a new book
by my successor just over five years ago as MP for Reading East, Rob Wilson, will be out early next month, so naturally I have it on pre-order. You can too.
Anyhow, Benazir Bhutto called her memoirs 'Daughter of the East'. I suppose I could go for something like 'Son of the West'. Still, maybe that's a bit obvious.
And the vast number of dear readers will get the Full Monty too. That doesn't mean I'm going to strip though. Still waiting for Playgirl and Attitude to call about that one.
Thanks guys, but I'm sticking with 'Salter: The Full Monty'.
Still, I would welcome some suggestions for the explosive content of my book. You know the sort of thing; the stuff that will sex up the Daily Mail serialisation.
I'm definitely going to include the story about Baron Bender offering me a five-figure sum for a night of passion. Not sure whether I should name him though.
St Martin has clearly been reading extracts from the Keith Richards tome ( speaking of his 'encounter' with Marianne Faithful in Mick's absence, he says 'While he's missing it, I'm kissing it').
He also accuese Mick of having 'A tiny todger'. Will St M be making reference to todgers in his tome?
I can assure you that there will be no such references to anything of that nature, Anonymous 23:56.
I'm writing a serious political autobiography, not homo-erotic fiction.
Still, I'm more than happy to do that photo shoot for Attitude if the money's good enough. That reminds, they still haven't responded to any of my messages. Off to chase them up.
Intrigued by this news I thought your readers might like the link: http://astore.amazon.co.uk/iaindalesdiar-21/detail/1849540810
ReplyDeleteWhat is he writing about? Is it a novel/theoretical book on politics in general/personal and biographical stuff?
ReplyDeleteDo you have the title?
I'm in the process of writing my memoirs.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I'm having problems thinking of a title. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
Unfortunately, Diary of a Nobody has already been taken.
ReplyDelete"East is East"?
ReplyDeleteEast is West ?
ReplyDeleteEast is Best ?
Down and out of Reading West ?
You guys are just like so 20th century.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, Benazir Bhutto called her memoirs 'Daughter of the East'. I suppose I could go for something like 'Son of the West'. Still, maybe that's a bit obvious.
Wait! How about 'Angling For The People'? Geddit?
The Compleat Angler
ReplyDeleteDecline and Fall
The Grapes of Wrath
10, Rillington Place
A Tale of Two Constituencies ?
ReplyDeleteThe Curious Case of the Vote on the Night?
To De-select a Mocking Bird ?
Surely it should be 'Martin: The Full Monty' or
ReplyDelete'Heart of Darkness'.
Or 'Vile Bodies' - and be done with it.
War and Peace, I think.
ReplyDeleteA working Class Hero is Something to be. (When you're middle class of Jewish parents living in Staines eh?)
ReplyDeleteEureka!
ReplyDelete'Martin: The Full Monty'! I love it.
And the vast number of dear readers will get the Full Monty too. That doesn't mean I'm going to strip though. Still waiting for Playgirl and Attitude to call about that one.
these are great, peeps. more please
ReplyDeleteRevolutionary Road
ReplyDeleteGreat Expectations
'Martin Salter: Some Mothers Do Have Em'.
The Pink Panther
The Opium Eater
Martin Salter: The Well of Loneliness
Martin Salter: The Long March to Freedom
The Autobiography of Martin Salter: Fish Tank
Martin Salter: The Naked Civil Servant
Martin Salter: In Cold Blood
Eats, Shoots and Leaves: My Time in the House
Martin Salter: The Midwitch Cuckoo
'Empire in the Sun': How I Mastered the Media by Martin Salter
ReplyDelete'Tantrums and Tiaras': One City - Two MPs by Martin Salter
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly: My Life in Pictures - by Martin Salter
A Burnt Out Case: 13 Years At The Top by Martin Salter
Hideous Kinky: The Man Behind the Mask by Martin Salter
Thanks guys, but I'm sticking with 'Salter: The Full Monty'.
ReplyDeleteStill, I would welcome some suggestions for the explosive content of my book. You know the sort of thing; the stuff that will sex up the Daily Mail serialisation.
I'm definitely going to include the story about Baron Bender offering me a five-figure sum for a night of passion. Not sure whether I should name him though.
WHat about your plans for a steamy clinch with Reading East MP Jane, in the comfort of your trusty vehicle that went sadly wrong ?
ReplyDeleteThe Mail could apply to its well-thumbed archives.
Did you ever replace Jane's kitten heel?
Or your intrepid and ruthless pursuit of Peter Mandelson, with indelicate references to 'the big one' - in the columns of The Sunday Times?
ReplyDeleteI am impervious to flattery ( PM)
And your winning and whimsical posting of a photo of yourself, wearing a condom on your head - to The Guardian Diary.
ReplyDeleteWill you spill the secrets of your long-time confidante, the Mata Hari of Kosovo,Miss Whiplash herself, Claire Ward?
ReplyDeleteThe day I did something important, and other predictions.
ReplyDeleteAn Enemy of the State
Lies and the Lying liars who tell them: an autobiography
Its a long road to Sydney
Guys, show some class!
ReplyDeleteI want to write a political tome that is insightful but humorous with my own populist touch.
Therefore, I shall not be producing some lurid kiss-and-tell drivel worthy of serialisation in the Daily Sport.
Oh, so not 'Martin Salter - A Member At Your Convenience'
ReplyDeletewith an introduction by Tony Page, then?
Ooh hoo! 'Kiss and Tell'!
ReplyDeleteSt Martin has clearly been reading extracts from the Keith Richards tome
( speaking of his 'encounter' with Marianne Faithful in Mick's absence, he says 'While he's missing it, I'm kissing it').
He also accuese Mick of having 'A tiny todger'.
Will St M be making reference to todgers in his tome?
I can assure you that there will be no such references to anything of that nature, Anonymous 23:56.
ReplyDeleteI'm writing a serious political autobiography, not homo-erotic fiction.
Still, I'm more than happy to do that photo shoot for Attitude if the money's good enough. That reminds, they still haven't responded to any of my messages. Off to chase them up.